me...

i don't understand. In Paris, i met a shy boy named Kevin. He said people told him he looked like Paul McCartney (and people tell me i look like John Lennon), so we considered starting the Beatles all over again. He took a couple days to go to Switzerland, because he promised someone back home a clock. When he returned he found he was out of French currency, and offered me a Swiss coin for some few francs. i would have certainly given him the money without the coin, but he insisted, and i looked forward to confusing people with money from a place i didn't go. But when he handed me the coin, which i have in my hand right now because it was the only currency from two continents that was too big to fit through the neck of my lemonade bottle, i saw that it said "5 FR." i was confused. Kevin assured me that Swiss dollars are also called francs, which i deemed mildly interesting. i just got through watching a French film called Red. It is subtly brilliant. i liked Amélie; i love Red. In it, a frenchman was flipping the very coin Kevin handed me in Paris. After the paralyzing bewilderment faded, i offered my mind the most rational explanation available (clearly Kevin had handed me a rare French coin, of minimal value, convinced me it was Swiss, and made off with some of my money), and immediately rejected it. i just can't see people that way, and especially not someone like Kevin. Well, at the very end, it turned out that the coin was indeed Swiss, and that if i had caught the first fifteen minutes, it would have been the most important clue in the film. i laughed for a while, and now i am a bit sick from crying. posted by Arthur @ 7/05/2002 02:21:00 AM	Friday, July 05, 2002
Forgive me, father, for i have lived... Sometimes, i lie awake and wonder if i should have done something. So many women have passed through my life, and through my bed, and i did little to nothing. How can i pursue a relationship i know will fail? None of these women believed in love, few in me, and fewer in themselves. But the chill of packing away a solitary life is hard to combat. The ghost of Christmas-future vows that i will be that lonely old man, hiding in tomes, befriending only children, dying bitterly. Though my conflict is, of course, in vain. The next one to lie beside me will make it all too easy, all too empty, and again i will say no. And, an inevitable alien to love, she will leave me alone, in bed, wondering. Once asleep, i do not have the average heterogeneous nonsensical expressions of subconscious like others. The great majority of my dreams are simple love stories. The truth is, father, i don't want to go to California. i don't want to be a director or a writer or a candlestickmaker. My only life aspiration is to find my other half. It was good enough for women through the 1960s, and for John Cusack in Say Anything; why is it wrong for me? i suspect you think my high IQ holds me to some sort of social responsibility. If that's the case, you would also recognize that the intelligent ought to be the most free from specific responsibilities, since we are the most likely to find better ones. Well i don't believe in career or identity. What you call nothing, i call everything, and enough. The only thing my life lacks is love. i've been a long time that i'm waiting Been a long time that i'm blown i've been a long time that i've wandered Through the people i have known Oh, if you would and you could Brighten my northern sky. posted by Arthur @ 7/04/2002 11:19:00 PM	Thursday, July 04, 2002
Happy Boundary Dispute! No, no. Happy Reason to Hate and Be Hated! Definitely not. Happy Diluted Rebirth of Ancient Greece? Maybe, instead of congratulations, a toast is in order. Here's to the divine notion that an extensively educated humankind will be able to govern themselves. And here's to the long journey we've yet to go. posted by Arthur @ 7/04/2002 04:12:00 AM
Things learned from sorting and packing 11 years of a life... 1) The Hitchhiker's Trilogy really has been my Bible. 2) If you put mix ideas on hundreds of index cards, then lose track of those index cards every which way, and then find them again, you won't know whether the mixes got made or not, and either way you desperately want to keep the cards. 3) "The funny thing about making your head vibrate is that if you look in a mirror, you can't tell your head is vibrating, because your eyes are vibrating too." - me, 14 posted by Arthur @ 7/02/2002 01:19:00 PM	Tuesday, July 02, 2002
Pop Monday: Tonight it occurred to me that the Ben Folds Five line "and sell some gifts that i got" is referring to gifts he received, not gifts he had bought for others. It makes so much more sense this way, i have to think it means something that i went out of my way to hear it the other way. i love flipping over rocks, but especially gigantic ones that have been staring me in the face. Like when i realized Beatles is spelled incorrectly and for a reason, or when the Rascals' line "you and me endlessly" finally corrected itself and i could stop wondering who Leslie was. If you haven't yet caught Ben performing Rockin' the Suburbs, BOOK IT NOW! i won't douse it by explaining, but it is one of the funniest things i have ever seen. High Fidelity was a fairly good film because of two things. First, John Cusack's character gives a lecture on the undocumented art of the mix, and actually gets it right. And second, the suggestion of a Top Five approach to life. The Top Five songs that best describe my life, which is to say, they are the greatest insights into what it is to be me, are as follows: No Rain, The Fool on the Hill, Imagine, Someone Like Me, and yes, the Ben Folds Five song that inspired my mix label, Evaporated Records. posted by Arthur @ 7/01/2002 10:42:00 PM	Monday, July 01, 2002
Ahh, the infamous July... The month of Emily's birthday and the French revolution. This month last year i left the country for the first time on the fourth. This year, i'll be leaving the D.C. area for the first time. In two weeks, i begin a cross-country journey to my new home, California. i apologize now to all my avid blogger fans; the journey will be long, and i don't know how quickly i will regain 'net access. My roadtrip exists in three parts. First, i will head north to Sarah, and a Dartmouth showing of Peter Pan on July 21st. On the way, i will visit Cam, Rebekah, and Karen for a John Mayer concert in Baltimore, and i'll stop by CT and MA for Dawn and Aaron. If, when i finally get up to NH, a certain someone has decided she's got the courage to know me, i can think of a girl both Sarah and i would like to meet very much. The second leg of the journey has been a dream of mine ever since i visited the headwaters of the Mississippi. i'm going to take Route 2 from Mackinaw City to Seattle. i'll probly visit Scott while i'm there. Finally, it's down to LA (i knew i saved crossing the Golden Gate for a reason). Completing this journey will knock off five more states, leaving only the motley crew of Hawaii, Alaska, Wyoming, and South Dakota unexplored. Hmm... Life is big. posted by Arthur @ 6/30/2002 10:03:00 PM	Sunday, June 30, 2002