me...

Here's what i think. i think that when you hear a noise late at night, and you go to the window to search the darkness, i think you don't expect to find anyone. i think that if anyone really were there, you'd be frightened. It could be a tired woman with a broken heel and a gas can, or a lost, crying boy. i think that even though you went to that window looking for someone, if anyone were actually out there looking back, actually staring right back at you, you'd be scared. And i think this is how you live your life. You go through the motions. You talk, you kiss, you weblog. You pretend you want to connect with other human beings. And you assume everyone else knows the drill, is as weak as you, and will avoid your gaze as you avoid theirs. Ha! Here i am, and i am tired of you. Girlfriends treat me like their fathers, friends treat me like their ex-boyfriends, and strangers treat me like criminals. You're not even looking at me anymore; you can't see past your own damned reflections. Well, fine. Lock yourselves in the bathroom and gaze all you like. Just get the hell out of the way. Some of us actually want to touch other souls. Some of us want to look another in the heart and be challenged and overjoyed and, yes, frightened. All around your island, there's a barricade. It keeps out the danger, holds in the pain. Sometimes you're happy, and sometimes you cry; half of me is ocean, half of me is sky. - Tom Petty, Walls posted by Arthur @ 6/29/2002 09:52:00 PM	Saturday, June 29, 2002
So what, so I've got a smile on But it's hiding the quiet superstitions in my head Don't believe me When I say I've got it down Everybody is just a stranger but That's the danger in going my own way I guess it's the price I have to pay Still "everything happens for a reason" Is no reason not to ask myself If I am living it right Am I living it right? - John Mayer, Why Georgia How could I forget? Mama said "think before speaking" No filter in my head Oh, what's a boy to do I guess he better find one soon - John Mayer, My Stupid Mouth Discover me Discovering you I'll never let your head hit the bed Without my hand behind it - John Mayer, Your Body Is A Wonderland it's a bitter sweet feeling hearing "Wrapped Around Your Finger" on the radio and these days I wish I was 6 again Oh make me a red cape I wanna be Superman whatever happened to my lunchbox? - John Mayer, 83 Staying home alone on a Friday Flat on the floor looking back On old love Or lack thereof After all the crushes are faded And all my wishful thinking was wrong I'm jaded I hate it I'm tired of being alone So hurry up and get here So tired of being alone So hurry up and get here Searching all my days just to find you I'm not sure who I'm looking for I'll know it When I see you Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom Staying up all night just to write A love song for no one I'm tired of being alone So hurry up and get here So tired of being alone So hurry up and get here I could have met you in a sandbox I could have passed you on the sidewalk Could I have missed my chance And watched you walk away? I'm tired of being alone So hurry up and get here So tired of being alone So hurry up and get here You'll be so good You'll be so good for me - John Mayer, Love Song for No One Suppose I said Colors change for no good reason And words will go From poetry to prose Would you want me when I'm not myself? Wait it out while I am someone else? - John Mayer, Not Myself something in the way that blue lights on a black night can make you feel more everybody, it seems to me, just wants to be just like you and me - John Mayer, St. Patrick's Day Thanks muchly to Matt's gf Elizabeth for this CD. And thanks to her sister Shannon for being so groovy. You know, if i were fortunate enough to live in Montreal, i wouldn't miss the John Mayer show tonight for the world. Grin posted by Arthur @ 6/28/2002 10:39:00 AM	Friday, June 28, 2002
Lately, on TV and on the 'net, i've been assailed by a seeming virus of relationship quizzes. Here's my own relationship quiz for you: If you need to take a quiz to know how your relationship is going, you're in trouble. i can't pass this up; here's that lecture i avoided giving you earlier: Males and females are different. How? Biologically. How, biologically? Females give birth, males do not. This is where the feminist in you starts to object: Surely there's more to being female than giving birth. Well, surely there's more to being male than not giving birth, but fundamentally, our technical role in reproduction is our biological gender. Phew. Anyway, us guys kinda got gipped. Creation is, after all, a divine power. So, first species to recognize it, human males create other things: cities, war, religion, identity. And we do our very best to make females feel inferior for not doing the same - one of the top five human ironies. Now, consider the lioness. As with human females, the lioness seeks the best mate. However, the lioness does not talk to her girlfriends about who that might be; she knows. Have you noticed in TV and movies how the woman always seeks reassurance from her best friend before she can decide to fall in love? This might not be so bad, if society wasn't necessarily dominated by men. The tragedy of Sex and the City, for example, is not that there aren't any good guys, but that Charlotte listens to Carrie, and Carrie listens to Samantha, and they all listen to society. Would someone please explain to me why these successful, powerful, financially-solvent women are still primarily seeking these things in a mate? So here's my wake-up call to the world: there is no such thing as identity. There is only your heart, which is not an organ, but a series of quiet passionate cries, in joy and sorrow. i know it is frightening to listen, and easier to let outer voices take responsibility, but how can they possibly hear you better than you? Molt the inevitable contradictions of Self and bare your beautiful wings. Fly. Believe me, you can. posted by Arthur @ 6/27/2002 01:09:00 PM	Thursday, June 27, 2002
It's official! The first firefly of the year! i feel negligent for not recognizing it sooner, as it is an extremely familiar pattern, but the creative exodus from Hollywood we've witnessed over the past decade has actually been the death of independent films. It used to be that film form was propagated by the mainstream, and independent films were determined by their unique deviations. This held independent films to a higher standard, because directors had to justify their most fundamental choices. However, as art-house cinemas have developed their own culture, independent films have developed their own form. Instead of withering, Hollywood has simply decentralized, and indirectly spread itself across the industry, like so many Celtic tribes across Europe. O Holy Roman Empire, where art thou? Fun fact: Scotland is actually derived from the Roman word for Irish. posted by Arthur @ 6/26/2002 06:21:00 PM	Wednesday, June 26, 2002
i spend too much time raiding windmills we go side by side laughing until it's right there's something that you won't show waiting where the light goes take the darkest hour - break it open posted by Arthur @ 6/25/2002 02:25:00 PM	Tuesday, June 25, 2002
Pop Monday: i know i can only love so many things before i lose credibility with you people, but i happened to catch Inherit the Wind again last week... Yes, it is one of the first videos i ever bought, and yes, i watched it on TV anyway - it's just that good. It would be impossible for me to get your hopes high enough to match this film's strength. Pick any aspect of screenwriting, any aspect of filmmaking. It stars Spencer Tracy and Gene Kelly, as well as Col. Potter from MASH, the first Darrin on Bewitched, and see if you can spot Mr. Roper, the first landlord on Three's Company. i could say that this film is for those who are interested in Science or Religion or Education or Philosophy or History or Free Speech, but those are beside the point; Inherit the Wind* is primarily about what it is to be human. i hear you saying "Isn't the act of filmmaking necessarily a comment on human existence, in any film?" And i completely agree with you, but the comment is even more true here - that is how much this film loves its subject. And you will too. posted by Arthur @ 6/24/2002 10:54:00 PM	Monday, June 24, 2002
For almost a year now, when i sing Daydream Believer, i'm no longer imagining a wife, but a daughter. posted by Arthur @ 6/23/2002 02:23:00 AM	Sunday, June 23, 2002