me...

You're all so damned complicated. i forget that sometimes.

After watching AFI's 100 Years...100 Passions, i realize that one of the simple, fundamental truths of humanity is that some people get love and others don't. It is impossible (as my relationships have been) to expect a depth of love from someone who has no grasp of it. Of course, the great myth of pop culture is that everyone can experience love, even if it takes 90 minutes. But this is the same sort of one-sidedness that permeates every aspect of Western thought.

Shall we speak of Joy? In direct conflict with all notions of Paradise, Joy is meaningless without Sorrow. Kahlil Gibran says it much better than i: "The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain."

Shall we speak of Pacifism? Because it's not the sign-waving and speech-making against a government at war. It's the active recognition beforehand that things are not right in the world.

We are rational and therefore cannot abide contradictions. But human existence is always contradiction, across what is and what could be. And so, in denying contradiction, we create our own contradictory world. In this world, love needs must be a quest, not for another person, but for honesty.

From now on, the first thing i'm going to ask about a girl is "Does she get love?" Is she willing and able to leave behind the impossible weight of what everyone else wants for her, and bring only her own compass? 'Cause i'm tired of being hurt and blamed by indecisive tagalongs. Love is NOT spontaneous. It is a treacherous journey without a fixed destination. Surely there are hearts who understand that.

posted by Arthur @ 6/11/2002 10:39:00 PM

Tuesday, June 11, 2002